I like the notion of demystifying the process, of absolute transparency - of utter vulnerability in the making. Frightening, but what a terrific way to experience our humanness.
Initial thoughts
In early October 2007 I spent two weeks in Bitola, Macedonia working for and with Australian choreographer Bagryana Popov, and Macedonian designer Blagoj Micevski. Ostensibly the beginning of a new solo work, as the process gathered momentum our shared interest in (not)dancing on the 'edge of performance' grew ...
We worked on long improvisations (me soloing with Bagryana watching), some of which were 'provoked' by discussion, others by texts, others dancing directly to music and others just 'open'. Throughout the improvisations Bagryana would occasionally feed in more information, or reiterate other bits, as if 'shaping' or 'expanding' the improvisations. But, at the same time, I was given a considerable amount of space/time to play, to sense the space, to sense my 'status' in the environment, and to switch between 'dancing' and 'not dancing' (or 'doing' and 'not doing'?)
What might this mean? What does this feel like?
'Not doing' feels like a point at which my attention ever so slightly pulls away from what you might call the 'core' (or perhaps 'current'?) aspects of the improvisation -- this 'pulling away' does not seem to rupture the integrity of the doing (in terms of my 'state(s)', or 'presence'), but at the same time it might involve activities that are far more everyday - turning up the music, or walking away to get a drink. These are obvious examples, but there are others that are less (visually) obvious but nevertheless do feel as if they cause a gentle tremor in the attention ... almost like a kinaesthetic sidetrack that somehow finds it way back into the track (as if I am sliding constantly between 'being me' and 'being me dancing'). The feeling, occasionally, is as if I notice myself noticing - not necessarily in a self-conscious way, but in an echo of the noticing. It feels like it creates space in which the improvisations might shift 'context' ... to be diverted in the physical actions without necessarily losing the stream(s) of the work.
Perhaps, in identifying these two sensations, the next (and wonderfully demanding) part is for them then to dissolve into each other whilst moving/dancing? In this way, the artifice of 'performing as dancer' might implode, and what remains is to shift "beyond ego" (as Kirstie Simson might say), and with it, the opportunity to be (present).
In this respect, this site is simply a beginning; a chance to collect sources, resources and ideas from various places and then to perhaps form (and articulate) some questions about presence and ego that might drive a particular research (danced or otherwise) project.
Video material
These video clips are taken directly from rehearsal in Bitola. In order to view them, Apple's Quicktime player is required.